Distant Photographs

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“I wish that photographs were physical spaces, like tunnels; that you could crawl inside them and go back.”

-Lauren Oliver, Vanishing Girlsimg_9522_zpsexdctrzoI would love to crawl into a photograph, spiraling back in time, into a place where the future seemed so far away, where my father’s arms seemed like the width of the world,  and each day was a glimpse into eternity.img_9535_zpstvay7uir

The past, faded memories, scratched up receipts and christmas cards, glitter falling off of old artwork from preschool, catch and release, and suddenly we are here, conclusion of March, grasping onto things and people that no longer exist

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nostalgia is a limiting word to describe a heart clinging to memories – i’m nostalgic for the lemon bars my mother and I used to make at Christmas, for the Chicago cold and ugly winter roads, and board games, snuggling up beside old friends and blankets

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but how can i describe the longing for my grandmother’s home cooked dishes, greasy and rich in colors, soy sauce scented kitchen, browned tiles, and laughter, her broken accent and wrinkly hand in mine.

or my brother’s mischievous smile, his playful jumping and claps, compilation of youth and innocence now replaced by insecurities and anger img_9567_zpsukrzmwuk

i miss a place so distant, so far, i only recall the pictures, overexposed and grainy, the gloomy day at the brookfield zoo, my tiny four year old dimples and almond eyes beside my mother’s warm smile, those photos are in black and white and I no longer have recollection of the colorsimg_9553_zpsjbo5nycp

generation of movement, individualism, pursuit of happiness, money, wealth, fame but in the end its only the people that matter.

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“See, see how the sun has moved onward while we talked. Nothing can stop it in its course. Prayers cannot halt the revolving of nature. It is the same with human life.”

-Eiji Yoshikawa

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Thank you for reading.

 

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2 thoughts on “Distant Photographs

  1. so powerful and emotional ;A;
    i also noticed how “flat” photographs are but they serve as triggers for the intangible space you can crawl into c:

    1. hi sweetheart!! its been too long 😦 how are you??

      also, thank you for reading! i agree, photographs are connections to distant and faded memories, and without them, i don’t think i could remember half of things and places that i’ve done and been to.

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